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[1] For the kitchen klutz in your life. Order the book on Amazon (photo © St. Martin’s Press).
[2] To stop a pot from boiling over, see photo #9 (all photos created by A.I. unless specified).
[3] To prevent the lid from blowing off a blender or food processor, see the *footnote.
[4] To put out a fire quickly, see photo #10.
[5] To save your knuckles from shredding on the shredding surface of a box grater, see photo #11.
[6] You’d be surprised how many people reach for the wrong one, especially when they’re in canisters. Solution: Use the professional method of mise en place (MEEZ on PLASS), measuring everything and setting it on your workspace before you begin cooking.
[7] Look twice at both the recipe and the container to ensure you add the right one.
[8] Here’s the episode where Julia Child flips a potato pancake and it flopped out of the pan. In this frame, she’s patching it together.
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We recently celebrated National Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day (June 13th)—inadvertently, because we set a potholder on fire. So we thought we’d take a look at other kitchen klutz disasters and offer some suggestions.
We don’t mean to make light of kitchen disasters; we take them quite seriously. So we hope this list will be a good guide to prevent you from joining the ranks of Kitchen Klutzes of America.
Most kitchen klutz disasters come from rushing, multitasking, using the wrong tool, or stepping away from the stove to do something else.
WHAT IS A KLUTZ?
Klutz comes from the German word Klotz, which means block, lump, or log. It’s also slang for a clumsy person.
The anglicized word klutz entered American English in the early 20th century as slang, brought to these shores by Yiddish-speaking immigrants. It became entered the parlance of New York City, and spread nationally through cartoons, television, etc.
There doesn’t seem to be an origin story of how the National Kitchen Klutzes Or America “holiday” came to be. But we can surmise that it was founded by an actual kitchen klutz (or someone who lived with him or her).
According to at least one source, the “celebration” can be traced to the 1980s. The concept spread enough that a publisher came out with a book (photo #1) in 1996.
No suggestions are given for how to celebrate the day. So here’s our thought: Go out to eat all meals on June 13th. Then you cannot possibly be a kitchen klutz on the big day.
> Check out all of the year’s food holidays. There’s at least one every day!
[9] This inexpensive silicone Boil Over Spill Stopper is the solution to photo #2. Find it on Amazon (photo © Quetcolor).
SPLATTER MESS
Boiled-over pasta or rice water that hardens like glue from the starch. Get an inexpensive pot watcher/pot minder.
Overfilled blender or food processor. Don’t wait for the lid to fly off and rain down liquid; never fill the vessel more than 3/4 of the way.
Oil splatters from water hitting hot oil or vice versa. See the †footnote below for solutions.
Exploding liquids, with smoothies, boiled eggs, etc., ending up on the walls and ceiling.
Bulging cans should never be opened. The bulges can be due to the bacteria that cause botulin poisoning or from the build-up of gas created by bacteria. Wrap the can in a plastic bag and dispose of it according to local hazardous waste guidelines.
[10] We always have one of these next to our stove. It takes up little room and can be sprayed in an instant (unlike activating a conventional fire extinguisher). Pick one up at any hardware store (photo © First Alert).
FIRE & SMOKE
Not watching the pot (or the pan in the oven, or the broiler).
Leaving the burner on under an empty pot or pan.
Setting a towel, oven mitt, or paper bag too close to the burner.
Be sure your smoke alarm has fresh batteries and that you keep a small fire extinguisher next to the stove (photo #10).
[11] We first learned to cook using a box grater—and had skinned knuckles to show for our efforts. The introduction of the Microplane was a knuckle-saver (photo © Microplane).
KNIFE & GRATER ACCIDENTS
Dull knives require more force, and slip more easily. Get an inexpensive knife sharpener and use it monthly.
Grater injuries to the knuckle: Trade in your box grater for a microplane.
Mandoline slips: Always use the hand guard.
[12] As the water component in wine turns to ice, it increases in volume, which puts pressure on the bottle that nost wine bottles can’t withstand. It can cause the cork to pop out, or the bottle to crack or even explode.
FREEZER
Forgetting a bottle or can: You tucked a beverage container into the freezer to ice it down, forgot about it, and ended up with a mess (photo #12). Solution: Leave a note on the countertop.
INGREDIENT ERRORS
We’ve all done it:
Sugar instead of salt, or vice versa (photo #6).
Baking soda instead of baking powder confusion—here’s the difference (photo #7).
Forgetting a key ingredient.
Oversalting: Look online for solutions to your particular problem.
Hopefully, next June 13th, you’ll be a reformed Kitchen Klutz.
But if not, there’s no shame. Remember these famous chefs’ kitchen mishaps on TV:
Julia Child’s potato pancake flop: She famously tried to flip a potato pancake, missed the pan, and reassured the audience, “If you’re alone in the kitchen, who is going to see?” (photo #8)
Martha Stewart’s burnt caramel: She overcooked the caramel on live TV and had to calmly talk the audience through fixing it.
Rachael Ray’s grease fire: Cooking on high heat, she had a grease flare-up but was able to turn it into a “teachable moment.”
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*To prevent the lid from blowing off a blender, first: Don’t overfill the blender. The jar (pitcher) should be filled only halfway to two-thirds full. Work in smaller batches as necessary.
Hot mixtures especially need more room for expansion. First, let the liquid cool slightly before blending. Remove the center plug in the lid to let steam escape (you can cover the hole loosely with a folded towel). You can also hold the down with your hand (firmly, but not forcing it).
Begin blending at a low speed, then gradually increase it. This reduces the sudden pressure build-up that can pop the lid off.
And of course, even with a half-filled blender, ensure that the lid is firmly in place, with any locking mechanisms engaged.
†Oil spatter: Water and oil don’t mix. We know you’ve heard that, but if your food contains moisture (e.g., vegetables, meat, or anything just washed and not dried thoroughly)…if you’re cooking foods that release juices into the oil (e.g., marinated meat, wet batter)…or if there are water droplets left in the hot pan before you add the oil…you can be splattered with hot, burning oil.
Here’s how to reduce oil spatter:
> Pat food dry before cooking.
> Heat the pan first, then add oil (unless recipe specifies otherwise).
> Place the food in the pan gently.
> Use a splatter screen over the pan.
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