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PRODUCT: BitterSweets Curmudgeonly Conversation Hearts

The BitterSweets Dysfunctional Collection.
Photo courtesy

Forget those happy Valentine candy hearts—called Sweetheart Conversation Hearts—with their positive messages: Love You, Be Mine and so on. has candy hearts for those who are not in the Valentine spirit.

Choose from three different collections of BitterSweets: Dejected, Dumped and Dysfunctional.

Each box contains 37 brutal kissoffs. The Dumped collection, for example, offers U LEFT SEATUP, BACK 2 KENNEL, I GOT SOBER, CELIB8 THX2U and CALL A 900#.

Six ounces in a heart-shaped tin is $9.95.

SWEETHEARTS HISTORYSweethearts Conversation Hearts, those ubiquitous pastel sugar losenges, have been made by the New England Confectionery Company (NECCO), since the Civil War. The company manufactures more than 8 billion hearts annually.The first versions were made in the shape of a cockle shell. Mottoes printed on thin colored paper were rolled up inside. Sometime in the 1860s, the company devised a machine with a die that printed the words on the lozenge paste. The present design dates to 1902.

Messages included All Mine, Angel, Let’s Kiss, Love, Lover Boy, My Baby and Sweet Talk, among others. Beginning in the early 1990s, the sayings were updated annually. “Call Me” became “Fax Me.” (Hey, what about Text Me?)

The line now includes chocolate, Spanish and sugar-free versions.


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